US Government Arrives at Long-Term Budget Resolution

LeShallot Wait, what? Le Shallot reports on the surprising details.

In a signing ceremony on Capitol Hill today, President Obama, members of the executive staff, and various members of Congress, including majority leaders from both parties gathered around as a long-term budget solution was signed into law.

“We’ve been kicking the can down the road for too long,” stated the President before penning his signature on the legislation, to applause from everybody, “and we couldn’t keep postponing our responsibilities. Compromises have been made on both sides, because ultimately, this policy is about the American people, not public image and self-serving political interests.”

Compromise was, indeed, a major theme for the resolution of political gridlock surrounding the issue. Republicans capitulated to the closing of tax loopholes, which apparently they stopped liking at some point along the line between November and now, and Democrats agreed to significant assessments of solvency in various welfare programs.

“It’s good to finally get this off our backs,” said Speaker of the House Boehner, “I seem to recall somebody reminding me that we [Congress] have a few other to-do items accumulated in our national checklist. I’d like to see what those things are.”